Since writing my first article on how song lyrics help me to heal, I have found the need to continue with this and maybe make a series. So, keeping with my need and listening to myself I decided to share with you the next song which is “You Say” by Lauren Daigle. Again, as before the song meaning is linked to me right now, where I am in my life right now and what the original authors might have intended is not the same thing.
This song has come across my path at a stage in my life where I am working very hard to be kinder to myself, to speak differently to myself and to forgive myself for my past. It also comes at a time in my life where I am extremely vulnerable.
As before full disclosure the source of the Lyrics and compliments to the song writers for and incredibly beautiful and powerful song. The information can be found below:
Source: Musixmatch
Songwriters: Bebo Norman / Jason Ingram / Michael Donehey / Paul Mabury / Lauren Daigle
You Say lyrics © Appstreet Music, Centricsongs, So Essential Tunes, See You At The Pub
The first line of this song sets the tone for me. “I keep fighting voices in my mind that say I’m not enough. Every single lie that tells me I will never measure up”. We all have inner voices and most of the time we are our own worst enemies. I certainly am my biggest critic. No one can judge me more than what I judge myself. I certainly never feel like I am good enough, I am always striving to be better, do better. I never measure up to my own expectations of myself and then automatically reflect that on what I believe others are thinking of me as well.
If I look at line two “Am I more than just the sum of every high and every low. Remind me once again just who I am because I need to know”. I have this intense need to know that I am enough, that I am more than my mistakes, more than my lows in my life. I have always thought that I needed this from an external person or place. But what I have come to realise is that I need this from myself. I have realised that I need to remind myself that I am more than my experiences, more than what I have done and said. That the highs are just that and the lows are just that, it’s not who I am. I need to validate myself. No amount of external validation will ever change my mind or make me happy and content with myself.
The chorus is just so powerful and of course the music sets up the chorus so beautifully, it’s a perfect combination of lyrics and music that makes me feel exactly what I need to feel. The key of F major in history has been said to signify calm but also passing regret and sadness. This just helps to hold the lyrics. The driving piano line that builds gives the feeling of movement and builds up the underlying emotions of “both and”. The contradiction of good and bad. The bittersweet of the words to follow.
You say I am loved when I can’t feel a thing
You say I am strong when I think I am weak
And you say I am held when I am falling short
And when I don’t belong, oh You say I am Yours
And I believe (I)
Oh, I believe (I)
What You say of me (I)
I believe
When the chorus starts, I immediately identify in the first person. “You” signifies me and all my voices in my head and all the various parts of me through the years. I call them the “Me’s”. But it also signifies all the people around me, my friends, family, and colleagues that compliment me and tell me how loved I am and that I am enough. The problem again comes with the external validation. Due to my traumas and my own internal believes I struggle to accept compliments, I hear them, but they almost make me uncomfortable, and I cannot internalize them, most of the time I don’t feel or connect to what people say to me, especially when it is positive. Perhaps it’s because I struggle with trust.
This has led me to realise that it needs to come from within, it needs to come from me. So, the chorus leads me to this. “You say I am loved“, but I cannot feel this, “You say I am strong” but inside I don’t feel strong, I feel I am weak and not enough that I fall short. Even the internal voices that say you are strong and enough falls short of me feeling that I am strong and enough. It reminds me that maybe I need to get back to the feeling part and the believing part. The second part of the chorus helps me with this. “When I don’t belong, oh You say I am Yours” the “you” in this line I identify with as myself. I belong to me. “You say I am Yours”, signifies to me that I am my own person and all the different parts of me belong to me, but I am also loved externally, it’s both. Both can be true.
So “I believe” becomes a promise and a plea to myself. I am saying to myself, I will believe this. I will believe that I am enough and true and that I am all the parts of me but that I am not my past and not my experiences.
“What you say to me” however is a cautionary phrase to remind me that what I say to myself matters. All these negative internal messages I say to myself my body and my mind believes. It reminds me that I need to change the narrative. I need to internally believe that I am loved that I belong to myself and not to the world or others, that I am enough, and that I am not the sum of my experiences and what happened to me. Only once I can believe this of myself will I be able to accept and feel it from others.
At the end of the day the only thing that matters is what I think of myself. This is shown with the words that follow “The only thing that matters now is everything You think of me. In You I find my worth, in You I find my identity”. Everything I think of myself is all that matters. I can only find my worth within me; my identity comes from within me and is not what everyone thinks I am or more importantly what I think others think of me. Again the “you” here symbolises me speaking to myself.
This song for me is so powerful, and has helped me to shape my internal dialogue, because we believe what we tell ourselves. What we say and think to ourselves matter, and it’s not always true. I am not my thoughts and not my feelings. These are just moments, its temporary and situational. So now when I find myself in a negative narrative or feeling I stop and check, I stop and question and ask myself is it true?
Then I invite myself in and I give myself kindness and grace and tell myself that I am loved that I am worthy, that I am enough! So next time you hear that voice inside, stop and check. My wish for you is to be kinder to yourself because you are worthy of your own love and kindness. Next time a song resonates with you, stop, and check why, it might just be telling you something.
Until next time…
